Solving small problems

In guidance, we are talking about conflict resolution.  It is so important that kids learn that they can solve problems on their own.

Enter: A frog named Kelso.

Kelso teaches kids that they are smart enough to solve small problems by themselves.

What's the difference between a big problem and a small problem??

If you're scared, hurt, or in a dangerous situation, then you have a BIG problem.  When we have big problems, we always tell an adult.

The ball that rolled into the street is a BIG problem because it would be dangerous to get it.

But most of the problems we have everyday are small problems.

When someone takes your things without asking, that is a small problem.

How do we solve small problems??

We use Kelso's choices.

Kelso teaches us that, when we have a small problem, we can:

~ Go to another game

~ Talk it out

~Share and take turns

~Ignore it

~Walk away

~Tell them to stop

~Apologize

~Make a deal

~Wait and cool off

We talk about what each of these choices would look like, and then we watch a video of students solving conflict using Kelso's choices.

"But what if it doesn't work?"

That has been the question from most kids!

Here's the rule:  Try at least 2 of Kelso's choices.  If the problem still isn't solved, then your small problem has become a big problem.

An example--

If someone takes your pencil without asking, you can choose to say, "Please stop taking my pencil without asking."  If that person takes it again, you may choose to talk it out. "I don't like when you take my things.  It makes me feel upset."  And if it happens again, then you have a big problem, and you should tell a teacher.

How to reinforce this at home:

Parents, trust me when I tell you that Kelso's choices can be a magical thing in your home.  It doesn't really even matter if you fully understand what all of the choices mean.  

The next time one of your kids runs into the kitchen to tattle on a brother or sister, just ask, "Well, what have you done to try to solve the problem? Which Kelso's choices have you used?"  They won't be expecting that from you, I promise.  And, if they're anything like my kids, it will stop them in their tracks.

Let your kids know that you expect them to try to solve small problems on their own.  It will free you from having to constantly play the part of a referee, and it will empower them to handle conflict themselves.