Too good not to share and spot on! The Millennial Generation

Anxiety - Social/Emotional Health

At Christie we are looking at expanding our focus on children beyond their academics to their social and emotional health.  That can sometimes sound like a lot of psycho-babble.  Social health?  Emotional health? Why does that matter?

I thought today I'd write about one small part of emotional health... dealing with anxiety.

I've read and researched a lot about anxiety in the last couple of months for a few different reasons:

1- I struggle with handling it appropriately,
2- I recently watched a friend miss a lot of work from illnesses triggered by stress,
and
3- This topic of anxiety kept popping up-- in my newsfeed, in my work inbox, at church.

I don't believe in coincidences so I started to really tune in.

According to an article on themindunleashed.com--

Marjorie Wallace, CEO of the charity Sane, believes that generation Y (those born in the 1980s and 1990s) is the age of desperation. “Growing up has always been difficult, but this sense of desperation? That’s new,” she says.

Now I'm not quite generation Y, but I'll lump myself in there because I only missed it by a couple of months.  ;) Those born in the 80s and 90s-- we are the ones who have young children now.  Elementary aged or younger. The ones born in the mid 90s are graduating from college, heading into classrooms, and teaching our kids.  The article would argue that we are the most stressed out generation yet.  What does that mean for our kids?  We'll talk about that later.

But why are we stressing out?

The article continues by stating that the rise in anxiety is exacerbated by seemingly good things like "choice" and "technology".

We have many, many decisions to make daily-- from the mundane to the important.  Choice is everywhere.  Do you want to go back to school?  What do you want to study? Online or not?  How many classes do you want to take?  Which days of the week? How will you take care of your family while you're in school?  Do you need a nanny? Where would you find one?

Want a new washer/dryer?-- You can research laundry room appliances until you've succumbed to information overload, shut down, and become frustrated by how such a simple task left you unable to commit or make a decision.  There is an underlying anxiety attached to the possibility of making the "wrong" decision.  And if we struggle to make appliance decisions, then how are we functioning at work?  How much more anxiety must we feel when we make decisions that impact others and our jobs?

Then there's technology.  The constant need to be connected.  Young people are always comparing themselves-- their looks, relationships, jobs, material possessions, vacations, and on and on-- with their social media "friends" who have spent more time using filters and editing photos than they have doing their homework.  Feeling the need to "keep up" or fearing that they've "missed out" on a party, celebrity gossip, or even a text makes them feel anxious.

We know that there are TONS of other factors that contribute to our anxiety.  Some of us were anxious children, and no one taught us coping strategies.  So we were left to make them up on our own.

Embarrassing personal example-- In times of high stress, I talk to myself, almost ritualistically.  I will shut my eyes and repeat the same word or phrase again and again until I feel my stress level go down. A little Dustin Hoffman-esque in "Rain Man", I know.

A less embarrassing personal example-- I talk quickly.  Nowadays, it's a habit for me. It's my speech pattern, but it was born out of an anxious insecurity that what I had to say was neither interesting nor important.  But maybe, just maybe, if I speak quickly, people could stand to listen to me.

My husband and I are raising three kids, ranging in age from 7 to 11, a mix of genders, a mix of personalities. The responsibility is both humbling and daunting. It's important to me to keep reflecting on and assessing my own social and emotional health, as well as my kids'.

How can we know if our kids are feeling anxious?  It presents itself differently with everyone.  For some kids, it can look a lot like ADHD.  Impulsive.  Avoiding work. An inability to focus.  Constantly on the move because they don't know how to quiet the signals their body is sending them.  Others appear withdrawn and shut down.

Please don't misunderstand me-- stress can be a good thing.  It can be motivating and teach us powerful lessons (like "Don't procrastinate!").  I am not suggesting that we should rescue our kids and be sure that they never experience an uncomfortable moment.  But we need to be aware and teach them how to handle those moments.

I will be teaching my students how to pay attention to the cues that their bodies are sending them.  To notice shallow breathing, a clenched jaw, a heightened pulse --- and how to take control of those feelings and manage them.

I'm teaching my kids the pros and cons of technology.  I've recently allowed my oldest child to have an Instagram account.  I don't believe in banning social media but monitoring-- not only who she's friends with but how she's feeling.  She wasn't invited to a party that some of her closest friends attended.  How did she find out?  Instagram.  Were her feelings hurt? Yep.  And we talked through it.  It was her first little taste of how social media can be hurtful.

I allow my kids to make choices for themselves-- what they pack for lunch, what they wear to school, etc. My middle child will perseverate on a choice for days.  He needs to know that I think he's made a good decision. He often wants me to make choices for him. That's not good. I need him to learn how to make decisions.  A lot of what he and I work through is going down the rabbit hole of "What if-"  "So what if what you're worried about actually happens? What does that mean to you?" "So you'll get a bad grade.  Ok.  What are your options for redoing that paper?  You can't redo it. Ok.  So your average on your report card is brought down. OK.  Do your grades define you?" And on and on we'll go. He always realizes that he has worked things up in his head, and his fear of being wrong has paralyzed him.

Our responsibility as educators and/or parents is to equip the next generation for adulthood. Academically? Absolutely!  But I would argue that social/emotional health is just as important! What our kids believe about themselves and their ability.  What they believe we think about them.  How they manage emotions, like anger, stress, overwhelming sadness.

When we work on raising emotionally healthy kids, research shows that success (both academic and otherwise) will follow. We don't need to smooth every path for them-- that's not helpful as it doesn't prepare them for real life.  But we need to come alongside them as they struggle, help them process what they're feeling, and see them through to the other side.   And we need to model emotional health by making ours a priority as well.

It's a journey that is long and can be exhausting, but it's one worth taking.

Neural Connections

I was recently talking to a dyslexia specialist who corrected me and said that she's technically a "therapist" because she rewires the brain.

We laughed at how fancy she sounded.

But that brief conversation reminded me of this video.  (Although-- to be clear-- I am in no way supporting or endorsing the company or website affiliated with it.  I know nothing about them.)

Our brain is constantly being wired and rewired. That is neuroplasticity. Anytime our kids make an academic connection or finally have an understanding of a concept, their brains have been rewired. Oprah calls them "light bulb moments".

Thoughts about ourselves wire our brains to believe certain things and react in certain ways. If those thoughts are negative, it's our job as teachers, counselors, and parents to change the message our kids are sending themselves. In essence, we are charged with rewiring the brain.

It takes time. It is by no means immediate. But the encouraging thing is that it is possible. Biologically and physiologically within the realm of reason that we can teach kids to think differently about themselves... their potential... their future.

Uh... HOW EXCITING IS THAT????!!!!

It can be done! We CAN change the future. We CAN impact lives.

Unfortunately, kids' brains don't send us an update that they are in the process of being rewired. Or that they are slowly disconnecting bad thoughts and connecting good ones.

So we may never see the difference we've made.

But we really are changing kids' brains-- for better or worse--- all the time.

I guess that means we're all "therapists".

Hmmm... I need a raise. :)

PACE deadline-- QUICKLY approaching

If you would like to have your child assessed for PACE, Plano ISD’s Gifted and Talented program, please complete and return a referral packet to Mrs. Jones by 3:00 PM on Wednesday, December 7.  Packets and additional information can be found at the following website: http://www.pisd.edu/parents/advanced.academics/gifted.pace/index.shtmlFeel free to either email the completed packet to Mrs. Jones or return a hard copy.  Questions?  Please contact Kaya Jones, Christie PACE teacher, at kaya.jones@pisd.edu

Game changers

I very rarely know if I'm making a difference with my kids -- but these are the things I KNOW are impactful---


1. "Good morning" with a smile. The most difficult child can't help but respond.

2. A pat on the back with a "How'd you sleep?" I always get a smile, an answer, and a hug.

3. Notice-- the new glasses, haircut, braces, headband, shoes. The kids are so thrilled and will tell the story behind the change.

4. Tell stories about yourself. They will be vulnerable if I will. Stories about failures are big hits!

5. Be approachable. Nothing is too small for me to stop and discuss. If it's important to them it's important to me.

Science and Engineering Fair Announcement

It is time once again to prepare for the Elementary Science and Engineering Fair.  The fair is open to students in grades K-5. Though participation in this annual event is voluntary, we want to encourage interested students to take advantage of this opportunity to exhibit their knowledge. 

If your child is interested in participating please return the Science and Engineering Fair letter to your child’s teacher so you may have a handbook. Our campus fair will be January 9^th this year! We look forward to some great entries to represent Christie Elementary!

If you have any questions feel free to email the Science Fair Coordinator at Jessica.Malloy@pisd.edu

A great read!

I highly recommend this book to ALL parents and educators!  Full of practical ways to build empathy in children and a solid argument for why empathy is necessary for success.  LOVE!

To the whole child...

"Why do you do what you do?"

That's a question I've been asked more in the last 6 months than I've ever been asked before.

When I was a teacher, I was commended but not questioned.  When I was a stay-at-home mom, I was envied *by those who had no idea how tough it is to stay home with 3 young kids when you're fully engaged* but not questioned. When I was a preschool director pursuing my Master's degree, it was a question of "how" but not "why" am I doing what I'm doing.

As a counselor who sees and hears and experiences tough things, I get a lot of "why".

My answer: Because I love kids.

I am honored to have been called to this profession.  I prioritize children because Jesus does. I want to reflect grace, love, forgiveness, redemption, kindness, etc to EVERY child.

And I fully believe that encapsulates teaching the WHOLE child.

We MUST recognize that some kids have been taken to school just after being smacked across the face.  Or watching Dad or Boyfriend hit Mom.  Sometimes Caregiver is passed out and Seven-Year-Old has to get the "little kids" up and ready for school.  Sometimes there's molestation or abandonment that dominate a child's narrative.

These children walk through our doors and are held accountable for academic and behavioral performance.

But what if?

What if we prioritized relationships over learning?  What if educators sought connections with the students, understanding of history, and a sense of belonging for each of their kids over anything else?  Would improved test scores and academic achievement/appropriate behaviors follow?

Research says "YES!"

I firmly believe that we were created for relationship.  If we miss relationship and prioritize performance, we've become legalistic and unfeeling in our approach with each other.... adults and children alike.

We must recognize children as people who have histories that they may not be able to verbalize or make sense of.... and parents as people who may be unequipped and in need of compassion... and teachers as people who may be overwhelmed and lacking in certain soft skill sets... and administrators as people who bear the weight of them all.

We must teach to the whole child.
We must love each other without judgment.
We must seek forgiveness when needed.
And we must act with a spirit of kindness and compassion.

Then we are free to learn from each other and our students can learn from us.

Mistakes Happen-- and that's OK

This week and next, in First Grade, we're talking about mistakes.  Everyone makes them, and we can fix them.  Sometimes we can't fix them all by ourselves and need to get some help.  But no mistake is beyond help.

I went to Ms. Albracht's and Ms. Stanford's classes this morning and read Beautiful Oops by Barney Saltzberg.  It's a really fun story about turning mistakes into something amazing!

Then I showed the students this "very important" (albeit out-of-date) paperwork from my daughter's school---

I explained that I accidentally spilled my coffee all over the papers.

We talked about the lesson I learned from my mistake: Don't drink coffee near important papers.

And we talked about my reaction to my mistake:  I didn't throw the paper down and stomp away.  I didn't cry or call myself "the worst mom EVER" just because I made a mistake.

In fact, I decided I would use it as a learning opportunity for the kids.

I outlined the stain in marker so that it would show up if I made copies, and I made 125 copies of my mistake.  My spill.

I challenged the kids to turn my mistake into something amazing.  And-- WOW-- am I impressed!!

Kids made people and jellyfish.  Magic wands and asteroids. Birds, parking meters, robots, and Sonic the Hedgehog. Fossils and bones.  An island under attack. There was no limit to their imagination!!

I thanked them so much for helping me turn my mistake into a "beautiful oops".  Now I can't wait to hang them on the bulletin board in the hallway!!

The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers

I was recently given a gift.  A book that had been passed to me, along with the responsibility to read it and pass it on.

It's called The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers.  Yes.  THAT Mr. Rogers.  Everyone's favorite neighbor.

It's one of the most touching books I've read in a while.

The premise is simple:  How Fred Rogers made connections with children and adults alike... through a television set.

One key to making connections was routine.  He sang the same song for decades. Changed his clothes every time.  Kept the curtains in his house the same.  The same old telephone.  His neighborhood of make-believe.  He believed that there's safety in routine.  When children know what to expect, they feel secure.

Changing into a cardigan and sneakers was a deliberate decision.  It was slowing down, stripping himself of the fast-paced business coat and dress shoes.  His soft, slow cadence when he spoke and the simple songs he sang were calming.  Making a point to feed the fish every day was not only part of his routine but relaxing.

Perhaps one of the sweetest things about him was his tolerance and acceptance of everyone.  He loved children.  And he ended every show saying, "You've made this day a special day.  And you know how-- by just your being you."  How powerful is that?!  Isn't that what everyone wants to hear?  That we're enough as we are.  And he was teaching kids that every day.

A quote of his in the book:
"I don't think of myself as somebody who's famous.  I'm just a neighbor who comes and visits children; I happen to be on television. But I've always been myself. I never took a course in acting.  I just figured that the best gift you could offer anybody is your honest self, and that's what I've done for lots of years. And thanks for accepting me exactly as I am."

I love his outlook.  I love how he loved others well.  I love how he showed his faith without ever preaching.  He prioritized children and made connections with them in a way I completely believe in.  He wanted children to feel safe and loved.  He wasn't a showman.  He wasn't self-serving.  He was giving and poured into everyone around him.  I think someday, when I get to Heaven, he'll be one of the first people I'll want to sit and chat with for a really long time. :)

I'm so grateful to be called to work with kids.  I'm so humbled by the responsibility that comes with being a counselor.
So what have I learned from Mr. Rogers?
Slow down.
Kids love routine.
And I am learning that the only person I know how to be is me.

I can't counsel the way someone else does.  I don't have the same style when I'm presenting or leading a meeting as other people do. I have my own style when talking to teachers, parents, or kids. And I think Mr. Rogers would approve. :)  He'd say, "Julie, you make each day a special day by just your being you."  :) And I sincerely hope I make others feel that way too.

When it's all said and done, I'd love for his quote to be my own... "I just figured that the best gift you could offer anybody is your honest self, and that's what I've done for lots of years. And thanks for accepting me exactly as I am."

Year Two

I'm so happy to be back for Year 2 at Christie!

What a difference a year makes---

This year, the week before school started I presented on a topic I care about to a staff of my friends.  Last year, I presented on a topic I really had no experience with to a staff I didn't know.

At Meet the Teacher, instead of a sea of kids whose faces I didn't recognize, I got a lot of hugs and shouts of "Mrs. McGlamery, look! I -- [fill in the blank... lost a tooth, got taller, cut my hair..]!"

Our PTA fed us an amazing dinner, and I watched as TONS of volunteers set up throughout the school to sell school supplies, spirit wear, and signs.  Better yet-- I watched as parents stood in line to buy them and join the PTA.

This year we have a Pre-K for the first time ever!  Game-changer.  These little ones will have the opportunity to prepare for Kindergarten at their home campus.  They will build the stamina necessary to make it through a long school week before they even turn 5.  And they will enter their Kindergarten classrooms with the skills needed to be successful.

We have 18 new staff members! And each of them has an energy level that is contagious.  They've jumped right in and joined our family seamlessly.

Speaking of "jumping right in", I've already received emails from Kindergarten parents looking for ways to serve our campus community.  Unreal!

Positive change is happening. It's fun to sense.  Fun to watch.  And even more fun to be a part of.

To anyone new to Christie, welcome! To veterans, welcome back!
I have a feeling that this is going to be the best year yet!!

Thanks, Teachers!

I am so grateful for teachers!!

I've known that I wanted to be a teacher since I was in the second grade.  I think most kids want to be a teacher at some point-- or at least play "school"-- because it's one of the only professions about which we have firsthand knowledge.  But my resolve was unwavering.

I was writing Teacher Appreciation Notes to my kids' teachers this week and was floored once again by how fortunate we've been to have the teachers we've had. 

I have journals for each of my kids, and I write notes to them fairly regularly.  In each of their books, I had written a prayer for the "right" teachers to mold them and guide them.  And I've trusted and never worried since. 

The "right" teacher might be a difficult personality.  The "right" classroom might be the one without their best friends since Kindergarten.

A lot of my "mom friends" request teachers for their kids. 

We've all heard of the helicopter mom who swoops in when her child is in trouble.  A few years ago, I heard of the sweeper mom.   It's a term that comes from curling.  In the Olympic sport of curling,  there is a sweeper whose sole purpose is to keep the ice smooth and clean so that the stone doesn't hit any rough patches and can make it safely in the goal.  A sweeper mom doesn't just swoop in when trouble arises, she keeps the path smooth so trouble doesn't even exist.

I was determined to be neither!

My kids have not had smooth sailing every year, but they have learned perseverance.  They've learned that they can handle difficult circumstances without me engineering every step they take.

And as parents, we've learned to trust authority.  To support the teachers placed in charge of our children. 

And we've never been disappointed. In fact, we continue to be impressed!!

I am so grateful for the teachers who work tirelessly to pour into children's lives, never knowing if they'll ever see the fruits of their labor.  Thank you for giving of yourself and for loving kids who are not your own.  Thank you for putting up with parents who can be exhausting!  And thank you for doing it all with grace and a smile!  Teachers are the best!!

Love y'all!! And I appreciate you!!

It's OUR school

For the past few months, I have been meeting with other staff members and Christie parents to discuss increasing parental involvement.  Parent support and involvement in a school is a game changer. Show me a school with a wide variety of after school activities, high test scores, and a well-maintained building, and I'll show you a school with parents who are engaged.

In one of our meetings, a parent said something to the effect of, "Parents need to understand that if they want to see a change, they need to be the change." I agree. But the onus does not rest solely with the parents. Staff has culpability as well.

At Christie,we are incredibly fortunate to have a supportive administrative team.  If we can dream it, if it's good for kids, and if we're willing to do the work, almost any idea we have will get the "green light". It's exciting for me to work in a school where the things I'm passionate about can come to life.  Ideas are already swirling in my head for next year.

The challenge as the parents and staff of a school is to remember that the future of a building does not fall on the shoulders of one or two.  The direction a building takes might come from the top, but the creativity and the solutions to problems come from varying perspectives and ideas from all of us. While respecting the authority that is over us, we have the freedom to tackle challenges by playing to our strengths and personalities.

It's OUR school.
 Every day we should do our part to make it be the best it can be. We-- parents and staff-- create the school we want to see.

Facing fear

This month at Christie we are focusing on what it means to have a growth-mindset.  Stretching ourselves beyond our limits.   Believing nothing is out of our grasp.  We love learning!  We love challenges!

A year ago (almost exactly) I was going through a personal time of pushing my limits.  For me, this seems to be the norm more than the exception.  I feel as though the majority of my adult life has been spent adapting and reinventing myself.

One thing that has held true since I was 5 years old is my fear of heights. When I was a classroom teacher, I was rarely on playground duty.  It made me sweat to watch the kids climb on the playground equipment. What if they fell??   I was always assigned to the soccer field.

We live in a 2 story home.  You will never see me leaning over the railing to say something to my family downstairs.

I have a death grip on the railing of an "up" escalator.

I can't watch my husband climb a ladder.

You'll never catch me on a high diving board.

I don't want to be on a ski lift.

I. Don't. Do. Heights.

Enter "iFly".  The indoor skydiving experience in Frisco.

I was determined to face my fears.

I went with my husband for his birthday and decided I would go into the tube of 100+ mph winds and "fly".  What you can't see from videos of iFly is how the floor of the tube is nothing but basically a chain link fence.  You're 2 stories up and when you look down, you can see that you're 2 stories up.

 Not ok.

When I did the iFly introductory course with my husband, he let our instructor know how scared I was.  And our instructor was not surprised.  Apparently my ashen face gave me away.
 
I've attached the video of my iFly experience.  Falling into the tube as instructed and trusting this relative stranger to catch me.  Then he "flew" me.  Took me up in the tube where I didn't want to go.  And made me walk on the floor where I didn't want to walk.

When you watch this video, it'll look like I'm smiling.  I'm not. That's the side effect of 100 mph winds flapping your cheeks back. You look happy, even when you're scared.

On the flip side, when you watch me walk, it will look like I "messed" my pants.  I didn't.  It's just hard to stand up straight in 100 mph winds.

Watch til the end.

When I'm back on solid ground and so proud that I was pushed beyond what I thought was possible.  And hugged the jerk  the instructor who pushed me and the jerk my husband who told him to do it.

It's pure joy!

I have a new appreciation for believing in being limitless.  For staring at deeply rooted fears and seeing them as mindsets to be pushed past.

May we all aspire to push ourselves and believe that anything is possible, regardless of our age.

New Year, New Beginning

I LOVE the New Year!  I love the idea of a fresh start.

Anything is possible in 2016.  Write your own ticket.  Plan your own destiny.

But we all know that's not the way real life works. 

Goals, dreams, and aspirations are sometimes met with victory and sometimes with disappointment.

Mr.Steele asked everyone on staff to pick one word that epitomizes what we claim for ourselves over the course of 2016.  Whether as a teacher, parent, spouse, friend... whatever.... pick a word.

My initial thought was "balance".  I need to find the balance between work and home.  Faith and work ethic.  Trusting and making things happen.

Then I thought, well maybe I should go with "appreciation".  I need to recognize what I've been given and opportunities I've been afforded and simply be grateful.

Then I thought more and more about 2016 and all of the things that are in store for me.  I even prayed about the word I should settle in on... and my word is FEARLESS.

I want to be fearless in 2016. I want to trust the people around me and trust myself.  I want to be reminded that God has a plan for me and He will not abandon the works of His hands.

To be without insecurity and rest in truth.

What's your word for 2016?

Happy New Year!!

#oneword2016